Tom Grove

There are very few public schools that can tell children, "You need

to stay on the bus and we'll see you tomorrow."

Schools have to accept

them as they are every day. Whether bright or challenged academically, the

behaviors and attitudes these students bring will smack right into the social

curriculum of the school and start chain reactions back and forth throughout the

school system.

How schools react to their students influences how

students react to the school. How students react to the reaction of the school

influences how school personnel react, and so on in systemic cycles of

responses. If a school functions as a closed system, it will identify those

students who do not fit the mould, try to make them fit and find ways to exclude

them. If the school is an open system, it will find ways to adapt and excel at

educating those entering the system. Given what is happening in our urban

schools, students are telling us they do not fit and are dropping away in

alarming numbers. If schools want to maintain themselves as closed societies,

then they are in essence creating a separate society.

What will become

of these students? We already know and it is tragic. It is a national tragedy.

On the other end, it is increasingly difficult to keep new teachers in

education. They drop out at about the same rate as high school students in the

first five years of teaching- 30 percent to 50 percent!

I have not met

more than one new teacher with even one class on class room management in the

past four years. Teachers arrive ill prepared on the front end and too many

students leave ill prepared on the back end. The teachers do arrive well versed

in the academic curriculum, but it is the social curriculum that can blindside

them. It is a very clear fact that if a teacher does not have the social

curriculum going well, they will always be fighting it to get to their academic

curriculum. There is no way not to have a social curriculum so the only question

is, what will it be like?

We should expect students to arrive at school

and to be questioning and challenging life and living. Is math or language arts

or social studies more important than that? Our job as educators is to be the

example of the value of life and how to live. This is the social curriculum and

it is totally in the hands of the teacher. Students will not let us escape this

issue of how to live, how to be, in this world today! The other day a teacher

complained how people think schools should be parenting their kids. The truth is

that schools have been parenting every student every day in every school every

minute! There is no way to not have a social curriculum!

No one, no one

in a school is only teaching a subject area. They are also always teaching how

to be happy, how to cope, how to deal with others, how to be optimistic or

pessimistic, how to deal with mistakes and successes, how valuable others are,

how to handle emotions in self and others, how to be forgiving, how to like

others, how to be or not be patient, how to value the spirit of others in spite

of their humanity- or not, how much other people belong, how to show honesty,

how to have integrity, how much to expect from others, and many other factors --

not to mention how to love. It is impossible for a teacher to just be educating

about academics. Our students are pushing all our buttons to make us teach them

how to live, love their self, and love life. Sometime during high school, they

are now ever increasingly turning their backs on us and walking

away.

Students need and want to know how to be a citizen, a parent, a friend,

optimistic, productive, useful, likable, sincere, safe, and loved. They also

need learn how to have dignity and integrity, be needed in good ways, overcome

adversity, handle feelings, restore their spirit and the spirit of people they

love, and to have true authority of character- not in power to make people

behave out of fear. They want soul satisfying happiness, and to bring that to

others. Isn't that what you really want?

Welcome to The Nurtured Heart

Approach™. When you read "All Children Flourishing," by Howard Glasser, you see

his heart in a clear way. It is a way of being, of viewing life and others. It

is a powerful social curriculum that goes on forever. It is as simple as, "Love

your neighbor as you want to be loved," and just as hard. It is challenging yet

joyful. Every teacher I know who has this social curriculum going in their

classes, soon finds they are at or beyond their curriculum schedule. Students

are better learners when their mind is not loaded with relationship issues.

The Nurtured Heart Approach™ is a powerful relationship model. Students

who have hundreds of messages that they are no good begin to receive evidence

they are already good and great. It is not fluffy spin doctor stuff, it is

absolute truth. They know the truth and prove themselves even more worthy of

recognition for their goodness and greatness. A system of greatness cycles on

and on to even greater greatness.

Imagine if every student in the

country got legitimate straight A's. Would it not matter more what kind of

spirit they carried, the messages they passed on to others, their work ethic,

their kindness, the way they managed problems, how they loved and valued people

and the value they placed on life? What if we had a way to teach these qualities

and values in a way every one was able to earn a legitimate A+ in Human Being? I

think we do. That is why the book, "The Inner Wealth Initiative," exists. Am I

saying teachers have to be perfect examples? No. But we already know what

happens when we think we are not an example, just here to teach. All I am saying

is: Start the journey of realizing and flourishing in your own greatness. It is

example enough that you seek to enjoy and nurture your own spirit and heart, and

those of others.

With Love,

Tom Grove