By Susan McLeod

The fall out from poor credit management principles and skills is bombarding us daily: the domino collapse of the subprime credit system, a steady growth in corporate and personal bankruptcies and the skyrocketing rates of home foreclosures.

It's all a big reminder of how deeply rooted credit is in almost every aspect of our lives. From those fortunate few who use credit cards only for convenience and pay them off in full every month to the unfortunate few who rely on credit to make ends meet monthly, and the rest of us who fall somewhere in between, it's clear credit isn't going away any time soon.

Rather than avoid or delay the harsh lessons of learning to wisely manage one's resources, why not give your children a head start in economics that will serve triple duty by improving math skills, reasoning skills and grow some serious personal responsibility?

Those rewards and more have been gained when parents put their children on a credit system, especially challenging children. 

"A credit system gives parents healthy leverage and also provides children with  firsthand life lessons that yield self mastery," says Howard Glasser, founder of EnergyParenting.com and author of a best-selling book on ADHD for the past decade, 'Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach^(TM).' "A credit system is neither carrot nor stick, but rather a self-contained economy that is custom-designed to foster that specific child's development in the context of the parents' values."

Parents report remarkable results with Glasser's credit system. Craig and Mary Allen of Oakridge, Oregon, wanted their teenage daughter and preteen son to get a life apart from electronics. Sam and Megan Healy, in Boston, wanted an end to the constant sibling teasing between their two young sons. Other parents simply recognize the beauty of Glasser's method to utilize a neutral, third-party arbitrator to enforce limits and bestow privileges for children of all ages.

The Allens have nine children in their blended family; all are grown except for a 15-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son. "What's different about these younger two is their technology. We just didn't know how to fight it and hated seeing them spend their lives in meaningless pursuits of text messaging, telephoning and video games." The Allens spent several weeks discussing their goals for a credit system. "We decided to create a system based on who we want our children to be - their character, their values and ours. We want them to spend time in nature, to voluntarily change their eating habits, and to be able to communicate with other human beings via actual conversation."

Glasser's credit system consists of a list of clearly defined rules, a list of ways to earn credits, a list of ways to spend credits and a tally sheet. The basic principles are generosity, credit for every effort, including partial effort, using a bonus system, and never taking away any credits for any reason. "How would you feel if your employer docked your pay for a mistake or a bad decision? Parents exercise leverage by freezing the child's credits until a required task or consequence is completed," Glasser explains.

The Allens designed a system and presented it to the children for input, as Glasser recommends. "They didn't offer a lot of input except to say they didn't like it. But we did and we implemented it," Allen said.

At Day 1, the daughter was sending more than 5,000 text messages a month, both were squatting myspace.com and the son was "playing Wii every second he could," Allen said. The daughter was hostile for the first three days, until she discovered and exploited a loophole.

Six weeks later, those same two children are "cheerful, motivated, not zombied out on tech any more. They go outside to play and to exercise," Allen says. Her daughter has cut her texting in half by simply leaving her cell phone at home during school. "Finding that loophole changed her whole attitude about the credit system," Allen said. "It never occurred to us that any child could live through a school day without a cell phone, but it was her idea to rack up a lot of credits and she did it."

The children must turn in all of their electronics to the parents when the parents go to bed. The parents return the electronics after the children complete their morning chores. Ways to earn credits in the Allen household include reading from a parent-recommended book list and writing a report about it stating "What I learned," "Why it matters" and "What I will do differently." Recommended reading topics span diet, health and spiritual growth. Cooking a raw foods meal for the family and cleaning up afterwards, learning a new skill and exercise are additional ways to earn credits. Ways to spend credits include taxi service, texting, video games, movies, reading books or magazines that are not on the recommended list, eating junk food, sleeping in or staying up late, reminders for chores, turning off lights, and maid service. Bonus credits are available for having a great attitude, voluntarily helping others and living a balanced day of working, studying, thinking, discussing and exercising. The Allens entrust the tallying of the credits to the children. They did away with the children's prior weekly allowance, instead building into the credit system the ability to exchange credits for cash up to a set daily limit.

"It's been 100 percent effective, "Allen says of the credit system. "We have accomplished the main goal. The general flow is so strong in the right direction. The children are experiencing the good things of life and there is a lot more conversation happening. Not only that, but Craig and I are happier, more balanced parents."

Bostonians Sam and Megan Healy implemented Glasser's approach and credit system when their two boys were 8 and 6, specifically because the older son was "more and more challenging to raise." They used a point system and tallying sheet and Sam says, "The results were so dramatic and so immediate, it was incredible." As the boys' self mastery grew, Healy simplified his credit system significantly.

Instead of the lists and tally sheets, now they simply have a small jar that sits on the countertop. Whenever the boys, now 11 and 9, are kind to each other or others, or exhibit other qualities of greatness, a marble goes in the jar. When it's full, the family does something fun together such as grabbing a movie or eating out. "Quinn doesn't tease his younger brother any more. No teasing. None. Before, it was the biggest issue," Sam Healy says. "But it's as much about my own transformation as theirs. Before I was waiting for the teasing to happen so I could lecture for half an hour. Now I watch how creative my older son is in finding ways to include his younger brother and how flexible my younger son is in being able to join in. So in just 20 seconds now, everybody has a much more positive day."

Glasser, a family therapist who designed his approach in the course of treating hundreds of highly intense children, appreciates the "therapeutic tension" that his credit system provides for families. "Parents of challenging children might be using a piece or two of a credit system, perhaps in an informal way, 'If you do this, you can have that,' but it's really putting all of the pieces together of not just the credit system, but the whole approach, that brings transformation.

"The life of challenging children is typically much more incongruent than that of average children," he explains. "They are likely under the impression that things are acquired through manipulation, begging and the duress to which they've subjected their parents. They are likely to have little recognition that sought-after possessions and privileges are the fruits of hard work."

If you recognize those symptoms, a prescription to consider is putting your children on a credit system now, when poor choices might net a temper tantrum or tears of disappointment, not bankruptcy or foreclosure.

NOTE: Members of energyparenting.com will find downloadable copies of the Allen Family's Credit System forms at energyparenting.com under resources/parent resources/credit system forms.

SPECIAL OFFER: The Credit System is Phase 3 of our Four-Phase approach. This week only, purchase our 1-hour Credit System Seminar (MP3 audio file to replay at your convenience) for just $24.99 and join EnergyParenting.com at half off the regular monthly fee. BETTER YET: Learn the whole approach by purchasing the complete 6-hour EnergyParenting Core Training Teleseminar Series for just $59 and join EnergyParenting for half off the monthly fee.

 © 2008 EnergyParenting.com

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